Euphemisms and Obfuscations
A
Alienated
A word for irritated, pissed off, bored, and the like that makes all those rather common, tedious, adolescent feelings seem profound, meaningful, special, thoughtful, and political.
Alienation
Feeling grumpy, pissed off, neglected, ignored, not special enough, not the center of everyone's attention.
B
Belief
Something it is taboo to challenge, question, reject, much less criticize or mock. When the adjective 'cherished' is added, this effect is doubled.
C
Cartoon
Please - don't even mention that word.
Community
A catch-all word used to refer to putative groups of people, often enormous heterogeneous groups that are far too numerous and too various to be anything but the opposite of a community. Also often a way to make groups or trade associations of various hucksters, shysters, con artists, manipulators and other interested parties sound cozy and cuddly and altruistic.
Culture
Code for the subordination and exploitation of women.
D
Devout
The word to use when 'fanatic' is considered impolitic or tactless or 'offensive.' For instance young men from the UK who spend time in madrassas in Pakistan and then return to the UK and set off bombs on public transport are said to have become 'devout' Muslims.
E
Explanation
An explanation is what religion is considered able to provide in areas where science cannot. Religion is able to do this because it does not have to find evidence, subject its explanations to peer review, replicate its 'findings,' avoid contradiction or absurdity or an infinite regress, or in fact check its explanations against any form of reality at all.
F
Faith
The preferred term for 'religion,' because it sounds warmer, more cuddly, more virtuous, less institutional, less hierarchical, and less coercive.
Faith-based
In political rhetoric (mostly US but insinuating itself in other Anglophone countries too), the preferred adjective for religious institutions and organizations receiving government funding for various educational and social endeavours. 'Faith-based' is preferable to 'religious' because it sounds more folksy, homey, shirtsleevey, rocking chair on the porchy, and because the word 'religious' would make the mingling of church and state too obvious.
Female genital mutilation
A meaningful tradition in which adults purify girls by slicing off their external genitalia.
G
Grievance
A word that can refer to any old anger, irritation, resentment, disgruntlement, but dresses is up so that it appears to have 1) a political aspect and 2) justification. Either or both of these may be the case - that is, a grievance may be legitimate - but equally either or both may not be the case, and the word has a tendency to disguise that fact. If someone, especially someone from a recognized disadvantaged group, labels something a grievance, there is a tendency to abandon thought, to look no further, to have a bad conscience, and to plan or promise to redress the grievance forthwith. This can be unfortunate when the grievance is not legitimate. The presence of Jews is a grievance for some; the autonomy of women is a grievance for some; any criticism of religion is a grievance for some.
H
Holy Book
A book written or dictated by the deity of a monotheistic religion. There ought to be only one, but in fact there are at least two. It is offensive to mention that in public.
Home schooling
A method of protecting or insulating children from secular learning.
I
Intelligent Design
See this flagellum? Therefore, God exists.
J
Judgment
Useful in certain narrow, practical circumstances but something it is often necessary to prevent, pre-empt, disallow, or circumvent, lest it interfere with 1) cherished beliefs or 2) respect for the beliefs and practices of others.
K
Knowledge
Something only religious believers can have. All other kinds of putative knowledge are ultimately uncertain, but knowledge that comes from God is certain. This also provides a proof of the existence of God: without God, knowledge is uncertain; therefore, God exists.
L
Labia
Something women are born with too much of, so they need to be cut away. See Female genital mutilation.
M
Meaning
One of the proofs of the existence of God. Without God, theists say, there is no meaning; therefore, God exists.
N
Novels
Extended works of prose fiction that are subject to censorship by anyone who is offended by them.
O
Offended
Something no one must ever be. We all have a duty to prevent the very possibility.
P
Plays
Dramatic works, usually fictional, which are subject to prior restraint if they mention any established religion. Mention of cults is okay.
Q
Question
Forbidden with respect to religion, family values, 'faith'.
R
Religion
An alternative form of science or inquiry, which is enabled to produce better - deeper, more profound, more meaningful - results because it is not required to produce evidence or observe the rules of logic.
Respect
Something owed to certain opinions and traditions.
Rocking the boat
What sassy alienated youth do when their sense of grievance becomes too much to bear in silence any longer.
S
Sassy
A word for alienated youth who are so alienated by their sense of grievance that they are driven to rock the boat by setting off bombs on public transport.
T
Tradition
Something that demands respect.
U
UN Human Rights Council
A place where it is forbidden to discuss religion.
V
Family values
Code for male supremacy.
W
Western hegemony
A plot to impose individual rights and equality before the law on subject populations.
Women
The nurturing part of humanity.
Women's rights
A very good idea, except in the Third World, where it is a tool of Western hegemony.
X
Y
Youth
People subject to feeling alienated, upon which, who knows what they might do.
Z
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